


The Logical Choice

by platinumfail



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Birth, F/M, Fem!Kirk, Fluff, Rule 63, T'hy'la, Vulcan reflections r-us, fem!James T. Kirk - Freeform, jim has passed away in this, spirk, the warning for character death is just minor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 05:25:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10870023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/platinumfail/pseuds/platinumfail
Summary: The Vulcan lifespan was a pesky thing, now. Of course, Spock never looked at his lifespan with distaste – this was normal for a Vulcan, even though he was only half. A potential 200 years – you could do so many things in those 200 years – so many discoveries, concepts, and hypotheses to test. However, ever since Jim died nearly 30 years prior, he couldn’t help but wish that he, too, had that human lifespan.A fem!Kirk/Spock fic where Spock lovingly reflects on all the memories he has with Jim.





	The Logical Choice

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Here's my second work for the Star Trek fandom. I decided to keep with the theme of a fem!Kirk because we all need some bad ass estrogen captains in our lives. As usual, I kept a lot with the Original Series, but there were some concepts I took the liberty of changing/adding more to -- basically with the T'hy'la concept. 
> 
> As mentioned in the tags, the character death in this is SUPER minor. There's no graphic description, and Jim just died of old age. (I decided to leave the whole Star Trek: Generations movie of Kirk's death out of this because let's be honest I'm still sensitive about it) 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy! Remember! I'm still open for fic requests at girlkirk.tumblr.com/ask! Feel free to comment on this and let me know what you think!
> 
> Enjoy lovelies! 
> 
> Kayla
> 
> PLEASE NOTE: the little "---" show the breaks between the memories and the current era. i didn't want to use italics because this whole entire piece would basically be italicized and that's kind of annoying. i hope you're not confused!<3

            Memories are such precious things – nobody exactly has the same memory of an event – even if two people were standing next to each other when something happened, they would both have different points of view, different images, different impacts. At least, that’s how it was with humans.

            Spock saw memories as an enigma in themselves – the act of the mind having the facility to store such images was something that couldn’t be dismissed so simply with a formula or calculation. Memories served various purposes – useful and practical, such as memorizing information that would be needed in a test, or in the field of work, or frivolous. Spock was currently thinking of his frivolous memories…but now he didn’t see them as frivolous. He saw them as so critically important.

            Memories were all he had left of his T’hy’la. Vulcans have a lifespan of 200 years, and humans only had a lifespan of 100, if they were lucky. Spock sat at his desk, looking out his window at the sands of Vulcan. He was now an ambassador for the Starfleet Federation, but he spent most of his time on his home planet. His brown eyes stared ahead before dipping down to look at his desk, his eyes catching one of the pictures upon it.

            Jim. His T’hy’la, his everything. In the photo, she was smiling brightly, the little wrinkles around her blue eyes standing out with her lips upturned into her iconic smile, the lines around her mouth making a pleasant shape. Just by looking at her smile, he had to hide a ghost of a smile on his lips, knowing that he should get back to his work, but he couldn't help but allow himself to have a “break” – after all, he was 120 years old. It would be only logical to rest the brain while working – he was no longer 30 years old.

            The Vulcan lifespan was a pesky thing, now. Of course, Spock never looked at his lifespan with distaste – this was normal for a Vulcan, even though he was only half. A potential 200 years – you could do so many things in those 200 years – so many discoveries, concepts, and hypotheses to test. However, ever since Jim died nearly 30 years prior, he couldn’t help but wish that he, too, had that human lifespan. Life was empty. Spock knew that when one’s T’hy’la died, some color would drain from their mate’s life, the warm tickling of their thoughts and actions in the back of their mate’s head no longer as strong as they once were, the way that their voice, which was no longer around, would calm their mate – these were things that one would get very used to in the years they spent with their bond mate. These were things that Spock was very accustomed to.

            Of course, ending up with a human as a Vulcan’s T’hy’la always had its problems. It had only happened twice – once with Spock’s father, and once with himself. The cultures were different, along with the physiology. However, Spock was now viewing the lifespan difference as perhaps one of the worst side effects. This was, of course, always in Spock’s mind. It was only logical for him to think of Jim’s mortality – she was not a Vulcan, and hardly any species is immortal. He knew that he would have to see her death eventually, and he was eternally grateful that her death was from old age, not from acting too careless on a mission aboard the Enterprise…although he knew that Jim would be completely fine going out that way.

            Spock let out a little sigh and clasped his hands together, deep in thought. The memories of his Jim would always bring him such joy and comfort, especially on slow days, such as this. He could still remember the day that he was made her First Officer, and their first mission together. He could still smell her perfume, and the way that she would sloppily tie her blonde hair back while spitting off orders to those on the Bridge. These memories would lull him back into his mind, back to where Jim was still very much alive, laughing and trying to get him to abandon logic every once in awhile.

            The amount of memories that the two had accumulated over the span of several years was something that he knew he treasured, and he knew that Jim also treasured those memories just as much. From marriage to birth, to critical missions and loss, they had been through it all. He closed his eyes momentarily.

**\---**

            “You have got to be kidding me right now.” Jim groaned, kneeling next to a human woman on one of the various earth colonies spread throughout the galaxy.

            The woman had begun to go into birth. The colony was fairly new, and they were waiting for a colony doctor to be delivered from the Federation. The only problem, however, was that the orbit was quite choppy from an electrical storm that was happening in the upper atmosphere. Therefore, the only two members of the Enterprise that were down on the planet were Spock himself and Jim. The Enterprise was to shuttle the new Federation doctor to be the doctor for the Colony, but Jim and Spock had decided to beam down first since McCoy was discussing “medical stuff” – as Jim put it – to the colony’s new doctor.

            Unfortunately, due to the electrical storm that suddenly appeared, nobody could be beamed down from or beamed up to the Enterprise until after the storm had passed, and it didn’t seem like it was going to pass for another several hours.

            “Spock, I don’t know how to deliver a baby, they don’t teach that in Command class.” Jim hissed, brushing the woman’s hair back, trying to calm her.

            “As a Vulcan, I must admit that I am not fully versed in human birth either. As Science Officer, I did not obtain medical training, since that was not my expertise in the field.”

            “Thanks, Spock…” Jim groaned, shaking her head and quickly beginning to calculate the whole situation. “Miss, I need you to just stay calm and continue to breathe. The electrical storm that is happening in the upper atmosphere of the planet doesn’t allow us to beam down the doctor for the Colony, and it doesn’t allow my CMO to be able to beam down to help either. The good news is that we are in the comfort of your home, and we will help you give birth, okay?” Jim comforted, fluffing the pillow behind the woman who was sweating profusely.

            “T-thank you, Captain Kirk…your reputation really is true…” The woman smiled, her husband holding her hand tightly, his eyes full of fear.

            “Please take care of my wife…it’s our firstborn.” The husband whispered to the Captain, and Spock stood, back to the wall, perplexed by the situation and while he would never admit it, he was quite uncomfortable.

            On Vulcan, it was not customary for a man to be in the room while his wife gave birth. He knew, of course, that humans had different practices concerning birth, and he could vaguely remember his mother talking about how his father stayed in the room with her as she gave birth.

            “Spock!” Jim’s voice called out to him, and he was quickly pulled out of his thoughts.

            “Yes, Captain?”

            “Can you grab me some rags? The woman says that there should be some in the trunk in the other tent.” Jim ordered, sweat beginning to form on her brow.

            “I shall look, Captain.”

            Spock quickly returned with the rags and observed his captain closely. He knew that Captain Kirk had never considered having children. She was too dedicated to her ship, and while she was still very young, she still had that fiercely independent streak that Spock hypothesized would never end.

            Spock still could remember the argument that the captain had gotten into with Dr. McCoy over removing her uterus. The Captain was practically begging McCoy, saying that she never planned on having children and the “damn organ” was “super pesky” since she had “no use for it.” McCoy, however, refused to do the surgery, claiming that Jim was only 26, and that she would potentially change her mind in the near future. If there was anything Spock knew about his captain, it was that once she had her mind set, she was startlingly stubborn. However, he did know that she could be convinced otherwise by either himself or Dr. McCoy.

            Spock watched his captain soothe the human woman, taking a cloth and dipping it in some water, dabbing it on the woman’s forehead. He saw Jim shush the woman and smile, telling the woman stories of her adventures and all the different alien babies she had seen.

            “The cutest babies have to be the Vulcan ones.” Jim smiled, and Spock’s ears perked up.

            “H-how so?” The woman stuttered, obviously going through another tough contraction.

            “They have the tiniest pointy ears when they’re born. They’re a little bit folded when they come out, but within a few hours, their ears are all perky and standing up! You know how human babies come out all pink? Vulcan babies are a little bit green when they come out.” Jim smiled, biting her bottom lip.

            Spock tilted his head curiously. He knew that Jim had witnessed a Vulcan birth while with Dr. McCoy on a mission. Spock had been unable to attend, and had to stay on the ship. While Jim did see this birth, she had no expertise on how to actually give birth – the good doctor had done all the work, and Jim was able to watch and turn away at the “gross” parts.

            “When they come out, they’re actually pretty cuddly. They attach to their mother very easily.” Jim smiled, biting her bottom lip.

            Spock felt a blush come to the tips of his ears and cheeks as Jim gushed about the Vulcan infant, clearing his throat as Jim quickly looked below the blankets at the woman and her eyes widened.

            “Okay. It looks like you’re getting ready to push. I…I don’t know what the rhythm is…if there is one, to push, but I’ll help you through it. As long as we get the little baby out, that’s the end goal.” Jim reasoned.

            Spock still stood back until the captain waved him over, patting the ground next to her.

            “Spock, I need you to sit at her side and monitor her breathing. Her husband will continue to hold her hand as she pushes.”

            Spock nodded and used his superior hearing to listen to the woman’s breathing and saw that while her breathing was short and ragged, it was nothing to worry about.

            “Okay…” Jim murmured, grabbing a large towel, laying it over her lap as she knelt at the feet of the woman. “When I say push, I want you to push super hard. I’ll let you know when I see the head begin to crown…”

            “O-okay…” The woman shakily nodded, closing her eyes and gripping her husband’s hand.

            Spock observed this whole scene with intense curiosity. He had never witnessed a human birth before. He knew that they were highly emotional moments, when new life would be welcomed. While Vulcan births were very similar, the customs were different. The Vulcan woman never complained of pain or hardship. She may wince and have labored breathing, but she never yelled or let out yelps like the human woman was doing.

            “Okay. 1, 2, 3…push!” The captain explained, coaching the woman.

            The woman followed the captain’s instruction, and within a few instances of the captain telling the woman to push, Spock saw his captain’s face light up.

            “I see the head! Keep pushing, the baby is almost out!” Jim exclaimed, the woman pushing the hardest that she had.

            “Just once more!” Jim nodded, and after the woman had pushed once again, a cry filled up the room, and Jim’s arms, now bloodied, held the tiny infant who was a blotchy pink and purple color, its little eyes still closed as it triumphantly cried.

            “It’s a girl!” Jim smiled, taking the towel and gently wiping the baby off, patting back the little wisps of brown hair on her head.

            Spock stared, awestruck, as Jim handed the baby to the mother and father, tears streaming down both of their cheeks. Spock stared at the emotion, and was surprised to see that his captain was also teary-eyed, the smile on her lips not fading in the least. Spock felt his own heart jump just a bit as he stared at her, the urge to hold the captain something that he had to fight to control.

            “C-captain Kirk, thank you, so much…” The woman cried, quickly pulling the captain down for a hug, even though the captain’s gold command dress was dirty.

            “It was my pleasure…it’s not something that you get to participate in every day…let alone ever when you’re in Starfleet Command.” Jim smiled, biting her bottom lip.

 

**\---**

            That birth, however, wasn’t the only one that the captain and her first officer had witnessed. There was the theoretical birth of a special relationship, and a physical birth as well. But, before Spock could begin to think about the birth of his son, he had to think of the birth of his and Jim’s relationship.

**\---**

            “Mr. Spock, what are our coordinates?” Jim asked as she walked up next to his station on the bridge, leaning over his shoulder.

            Spock gave his captain the coordinates, trying to ignore the pure warmth that she brought with her. It would be impossible for him not to notice. How could one not notice their T’hy’la? He just had one problem, however. Jim did not know that she was his T’hy’la, and quite frankly, he was quite nervous with telling her that fact. Normally, Spock would be quick and not beat around the bush about it, but this was a very delicate thing, and he was truly feeling his human side at the time.

            He knew how inappropriate it was. A captain was not supposed to be involved with anyone on their ship, as was the first officer. Could there be anything that violated Starfleet regulations than a captain and her first officer being romantically involved with one another? Well, then again, at least they were very close to being equal in rank. It would be another thing if the captain got involved with a Yeoman. Spock bit back his distaste at one of Jim’s Yeomen who were always infatuated with the beautiful captain. There were several times that a part of Spock wanted to throw the Yeoman out of Jim’s quarters when she was in there alone. Her Yeomen just thought they could walk into the captain’s quarters at any time and deliver her coffee or paperwork.

            Then again, that was their job, and Spock had to quickly get his logic back in order whenever he let his mind spread to that. Jim’s Yeomen were young and handsome men, and human. Spock would admit that he felt the throes of jealousy but he was always sure to hide them. He had known that Dr. McCoy was staring to get suspicious, but he was grateful that the good doctor kept his mouth shut.

 

**\---**

 

            The only regret Spock had about the whole matter was how long it had taken him to finally accept the fact that he was in love with his captain and that his captain was to be his everything. His T’hy’la, who was the person that he would be intimately bonded to mentally, physically, and spiritually. The person that he would be able to feel from light years away or galaxies apart if they were separated. The one fixture in Vulcan life that was critical to have.

            He could still clearly remember every single detail about how he told Jim that they were fated.

**\---**

            He should have known that in any situation, Jim would’ve taken the lead. The minute she stomped into his quarters, her shoulders back, bangs tucked behind her ears, she had come to assert herself and solve a mystery. There was no other way to read her body. Her blue eyes were hard, and her pink lips in a straight line. Her brow was furrowed in concentration, ready to lay down the law.

            “Spock,” she began, clearing her throat.

            Spock stared at her from his desk, and one of his eyebrows was raised – had he done something wrong? They had just come back from a retirement engagement at Starbase 12, where they celebrated the retirement of a long-time admiral to the federation. They had to dress in formal clothing, and other members of the federation all attended the event. Jim was preoccupied with the captains and obviously a magnet in the room, many coming to talk to her and offer her glasses of wine to hear about the Enterprise’s various missions. Several science officers and the other Vulcans that were in the federation surrounded Spock.

            Spock was taken off guard when one of his former colleagues came to speak to him. Lieutenant Harper was someone he worked with back at the Academy. Her specialization was Geochemistry. The woman did have feelings for him while they were working together at the Academy, but he never noticed how deep her feelings ran until she had taken him to the side and kissed him. She was under the influence of alcohol, but nevertheless, it was something he never wanted to go through again. It is painful to have an admittedly forced intimate connection with one that was not your T’hy’la.

            He could feel the frustration radiating off of his captain as she stood in front of his desk, and could even feel hints of aggression. Usually he’d be able to tell what mix of emotions the captain was feeling due to the T’hy’la connection (pre-mind meld) but due to the Lieutenant kissing him, it was still fuzzy. He had wished he had just stuck to Jim’s side all night like McCoy did. Then again, both of them had similar friends due to being at the Academy together.

            “Captain-“ He tried to start.

            “No. I’ll talk.” Jim pointed a finger at him, extremely serious.

            Spock hadn’t seen Jim this frustrated since her interaction with Federation Ambassador Fox concerning Eminar VII.

            “I cannot explain it – every single time I’m around you, there’s a pull at the back of my head, and…” Jim huffed with embarrassment, “when I saw Lieutenant Harper kiss you tonight, I got a horrible ache in the back of my head and my blood seriously felt like it was boiling.” Jim paused as Spock stared at her. He knew that she was also feeling the throes of being a Vulcan’s T’hy’la.

            “Captain, I-“

            “No. I said I was going to talk, Spock. Ugh…look…” Jim sighed, rubbing her forehead, still obviously frustrated with the kiss she had obviously witnessed. Spock had hoped that Jim didn’t notice the lieutenant’s drunken display, but she noticed everything. He could distinctly picture Jim’s slamming of her wine glass on a nearby table after he had pulled away from the Lieutenant.

            Jim didn’t finish her sentence at the time, quickly walking over to be face to face with him, standing behind his desk with him. If she leaned down to where he was sitting in his chair, they would be nose-to-nose. It took all of Spock’s strength not to reach out and try and comfort her. It was very hard to not touch your T’hy’la when they are near.

            “I’m in love with you.” Jim aggressively commanded, finishing the sentence she had started earlier.

            Well. Spock didn’t expect for Jim to come to him first – but everything Jim did was edgy and unpredictable. He cleared his throat and stood as Jim glared at nothing in particular. He gently reached out one of his hands and cupped her cheek.

            “That is quite…convenient, Captain…for I hold the same conclusion on you as well.”

            “Whoa, what?” Jim snapped out of her stupor, staring into her first officer’s brown eyes, her own eyes wide open.

            “Did you have trouble hearing me, Captain?” Spock smirked softly, rubbing his thumb on her cheek. “I said that I also love you.”

            “…But…Lieutenant Harper…”

            “Yes, I am well acquainted with Lieutenant Harper…a little bit more so than I would like after the event that occurred tonight. We worked together while at the Academy. I do not return her feelings. Do you want to know why you felt that way when you witnessed the display?”

            “I already know. It’s jealousy. I’m sure you’re not familiar with it…” Jim muttered. Spock could feel that she was still unsure of the whole situation.

            “It is deeper than that emotion, Jim,” Spock began, “you felt it in such an intense way due to you being my T’hy’la, my beloved, my fated.” He spoke, seeing her visibly perk up.

            “Wait…I’ve heard of that. Isn’t that basically a Vulcan’s mate for life?”

            “It is beyond life as well. It is a physical, spiritual, and emotional bond that will last for years. The pulling you feel in the back of your head is my mind reaching out to connect with yours. When…when did this feeling begin to occur to you?”

            “It started…about a year ago…” Jim sighed, scratching the back of her head, still obviously blushed.

            “That was when I began to notice it as well…” Spock let out a little sigh, “I’m sorry that…it was revealed in this way. I would have preferred for it to be more…peaceful.”

            “Hey. There’s no other way I’d like to have it revealed,” Jim began, smiling slyly, “after all, situations we usually find ourselves in are not always on the peaceful side.”

**\---**

            Spock let out a sigh as he remembered the event fondly. While he did still wish that he had revealed to Jim that she was his T’hy’la in another way, he was beginning to understand that this revelation happening in such a way was just…typical for the captain. He smiled as he remembered the ceremonies on Vulcan that they participated in to be traditionally bonded, and he remembered the first time that he had been able to fully enter Jim’s mind and her to enter his. He had missed the feeling of her in his mind…she was still there, of course, but the liveliness was gone.

            Spock let out a sigh and decided to get back to work when there was a slight knock at the door to his study.

            “Come.” He spoke softly.

            Spock let out a small smile when he realized that it was his son. His son was older now, but he held a lot of Jim’s qualities.

            His son was tall, and had several Vulcan qualities to him. Although their son was only ¼ Vulcan, the Vulcan biology is extremely prevalent – it cancels out most other qualities. Their son had the standard pointy ears, slanted eyebrows, greenish pale skin, the black hair. But his eyes were startlingly like Jim’s. They were round and a deep blue. His son who had excelled in his Vulcan training, still found it easier to smile than Spock ever did, and was not afraid to show more emotion than he did at his son’s age.

            “Father,” Sevek smiled softly, walking in. “I apologize for intruding without warning.”

            “That is alright, son…” Spock shook his head, allowing his son to sit in the seat across from his desk.

            “I wanted to visit…I am…aware that yours and mother’s anniversary is arriving soon. I thought that you may...find pleasure in having company.”

            Spock knew that his son was always very intrinsic when it came to relationships. Sevek was always sure to listen and was always ready to give an opinion, taking the lead when necessary. That was one of his characteristics he learned from Jim, no doubt. He found it so easy to emphasize with others, and Spock sometimes found himself staring in wonder at his child – how the child was able to mix the Vulcan heritage within him with the human so effortlessly. Spock wished that he had been able to do so as a child, however, he knew he was only half human…and he was very much grounded to his Vulcan roots – it was all he had ever known, and he looked up to his father very much. Spock still felt pangs of regret when he realized that he never really said “I love you” to his mother often. A human woman on a Vulcan planet, all by herself. It must have been difficult.

            He could still remember the day that Sevek was born, and it was a very, very fond memory to him. He knew he would always hold it close to his heart.

\---

            “Dammit, Jim! I swear, if you don’t stop squirming around like a fish out of water, I’m going to just hypo you so you don’t see the birth of your mini hobgoblin.” Bones huffed out, frustrated.

            “While I do not agree with the doctor’s methods, I do believe that it would be better if you would stop squirming, ashayam…” Spock sighed, watching as Jim struggled with the pain.

            He knew that her pregnancy would be painful due to the differences between the human body and Vulcan body. The blood of a Vulcan is full of copper, which does not mesh well with a human’s blood – it was predicted that Jim’s blood would reject that of the baby’s, and that her blood cells would fight the baby’s. However, since Vulcans were stronger than humans, the baby would ultimately win the battle and kill Jim, affectively ending in the fetus’ death as well. Spock was fortunate that Jim was able to take the correct medicine to counteract such an event.

            “Alright, I’ll listen to you guys as soon as you two have to SHOVE A WHOLE LIVING BEING OUT OF YOUR NETHERS.” Jim shouted, panting.

            Spock winced at Jim’s yelling due to his sensitive ears, and McCoy rolled his eyes.

            “I thought you said you could handle any pain thrown at you…” McCoy smirked proudly, causing Jim to groan as he checked her vitals.

            “Alright, I’ll concede. Y’know how I said the worst pain in my life was snapping my leg in half that one time? Well, I stand corrected. The worst pain in my life is having to give birth…” Jim whined, throwing her head back against the biobed. “How much longer, Bones? I want to meet him already.”

            “Jim, these things take time. Unfortunately, you will be in labor longer due to the infant’s mixed genetics.” McCoy shrugged.

            “What? But he’s only 1/4th Vulcan…” Jim bit her lip.

            “Yes, he may be only ¼, so count your blessings he’s not half like your hobgoblin over here.” McCoy smiled, as he was able to give a “cutesy” comment. He was obviously having the time of his life coaching Jim through her birth.

            “Doctor, I find your attempts at humor to be quite substandard. My mother was in labor for quite some time, but on Vulcan, the doctors are able to counteract the amount of pain a woman feels. The woman feels absolutely nothing within the process of labor, from start to finish. Most times, the woman who gives birth to a Vulcan infant simply does not have to push.” Spock whipped back, causing McCoy to pin his mouth shut.

            “Hey! Bones! Why aren’t you as good as the Vulcan doctors?” Jim cried, Spock hiding a sly smile behind his hand.

            “AND YOU. Don’t you even try to hide a smile, Spock! If you knew that the doctors on Vulcan had some freaky antidote or IV drip, why didn’t you order some and give it to Bones? And you’re the one who did this to me!” Jim aggressively barked, causing McCoy to burst out laughing as he checked the heartbeat of the baby that was still inside Jim.

            “Jim, I believe that you also wanted this infant.” Spock commented back, also anxious for the child to be born. He knew that Jim was not in her mid twenties, so giving birth may be a bit more risky. Jim was merely 30, but due to her active duty as captain of the starship, Spock would have to admit that he was more concerned than usual about her health. He was sure that the stress Jim had accumulated over the months could have an effect on their son.

            “Alright, you’re right. But hey, you were the one that got me all in the mood-“

            “OKAY, IF I’M DELIVERING THIS BABY, I DO NOT WANT ANY TALK LIKE THAT IN MY MED BAY.” McCoy demanded, nearly gagging.

            “Sorry Bones.” Jim sighed, shaking her head. “Hey, where’s Nurse Chapel? Maybe I would fare better with her.” Jim teased.

            “Don’t even get me started, kid. She’ll be in here when it’s time for you to push. In the meantime, just work on your breathing and relax. The more tense you are, the longer it will take.” McCoy sighed, brushing back some hair that was in Jim’s face.

            “How much longer?” Jim inquired, in some dramatic anguish.

            “Okay, you’re not in a soap opera, Jim,” McCoy rolled his eyes once more, “I’d say at least an hour or two more.”

            “GET IT OUT OF ME!” Jim cried as she felt another contraction rip through her, “I swear, I’m a tough person. I’ve been through phaser fire, I fought a freaking Gorn lizard monster thing, I was put in a decompressor by that Khan guy, and geez. Why is _this_ the worst pain I’ve ever had?”

            “Ashayam, you should not focus on the pain. That only makes you more aware of it.” Spock whispered, stroking her hair and touching the tips of her fingers. “I wish that I could alleviate some of the pain you are going through.”

            “I wish Vulcans were like seahorses.” Jim huffed, biting her bottom lip.

            “Is that one of your…earth creatures?” Spock asked, tilting his head.

            “Oh yeah, it’s a good one, the male actually gives birth to the babies while the female is somewhere else.” McCoy cackled, patting Jim on the shoulder.

            “Ha, it’d be fun to see Spock in birth. I wonder if he’d still be all calm and collected.” Jim teased, seeing Spock flush green and look away. “OW!”

            “Jim?” McCoy asked, tilting his head.

            “Ow, ow, ow!” Jim cried, furrowing her brow, “I can legit feel it moving, am I ready to push or what?”

            “Jim, didn’t I say that it’d take another hour or two?” McCoy grumbled, quickly going to the foot of the bed and lifting the covers up to see how much Jim had dilated. “…Well I’ll be damned. It is time to push.”

            Jim’s eyes widened as she looked around. Spock could feel the overwhelming excitement his T’hy’la had within her, but he could also feel the increasing anxiety with each passing second. He could hear some of her thoughts. _What would he look like? What if he’s not as healthy as the scans said? What if he comes out stillborn? Would Spock forgive me?_

            Spock quickly grabbed Jim’s hand and held it close to him, shaking his head. Jim’s thoughts immediately calmed down as she felt him soothe her, and she began to not worry as much.

            “Jim, I know you’re in the middle of labor, but you’re glowing!” Nurse Chapel smiled as she came in, happy to help Jim with pushing as she had promised months earlier.

            “Nurse Chapel, while that is appreciated, I believe that Jim would prefer for you to help her with her breathing.” Spock commented, seeing Nurse Chapel quickly go into work mode, standing between Jim’s shapely legs.

            “Okay, Captain. When Dr. McCoy says to push, I want you to give me all you’ve got. Hopefully we can get the little guy out in just three pushes, maybe less!”

            “Alright, no promises on it being less, though.” Jim winced, pushing herself up by her elbows, biting her bottom lip.

            “You ready Jim?” McCoy asked, grasping the captain’s other hand in support.

            “As ready as I’ll ever be, Bones.”

            “Okay. 1…2…3…push!”

            “Oh! That was really good, captain!” Nurse Chapel complimented, grabbing a clean towel to help clean the baby off when Jim would finally push him out. “Let’s do it again.”

            “Alright, Jim. Here we go. Push.” McCoy ordered.

            Jim squeezed their hands tightly, her eyes screwed shut as she let out a small whimper. Suddenly, crying filled the air, and Jim fell back against the biobed, sure to pop her head up immediately to see her baby.

            “Wow, Jim. Two pushes! I knew you had it in ya.” McCoy smiled, kissing the top of her forehead. “I’ll put it on record.”

            “Thanks Bones.” Jim sniffled, biting her bottom lip.

            Spock can remember the second he caught a glimpse of his son. He quickly walked over to Nurse Chapel, immediately taking the baby as soon as she had wiped some of Jim’s blood off of him. As he held the toweled infant in his hands, he felt indescribable love and joy. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced. The baby had wisps of black hair that were very thin. His eyes were round, and his irises were a shocking baby blue. His ears were folded a bit, and Spock’s chest swelled when he remembered Jim talking about how cute Vulcan babies were a few years ago when helping a woman give birth.

            The infant’s skin was a pale green, and he shifted a bit in his father’s arms. His eyes were full of wonder and warmth as he stared straight at his father, and the instant connection was made. Spock brought the infant over to Jim, who began crying as soon as she saw him.

            “Oh, he’s so beautiful!” Jim exclaimed, quickly pulling him into her arms, holding him close. The infant nuzzled himself into Jim’s neck and shifted, settling.

            “You were correct about Vulcan infants being attached to their mothers…” Spock whispered, seeing Jim’s eyes light up when she remembered the woman she helped give birth.

            “He has blue eyes…” Jim giggled, gently pulling him back from her neck so she could get a better look at him. “Oh! And his little ears are all folded! I love him…” Jim smiled, looking up at Spock. The way she looked at him, coupled with her affectionate and grateful thoughts made him smile, and he pulled her hair back from her face once more.

            “Thank you.” Her thought reverberated around his head, and he gently pressed his lips to her forehead, his middle and pointer finger touching hers.

            “No…thank you.”

**\---**

 

            “Father?” Sevek asked, tilting his head.

            “Oh, I apologize, Sevek. I have been…thinking about your mother quite often today.” Spock admitted, shaking his head.

            “I think about her a lot too. I have so many memories of her.” Sevek smiled softly, clearing his throat. “I miss her.”

            “I miss her as well.” Spock responded, standing from behind his desk to sit next to his son. “I appreciate you coming to see me so close to mine and your mother’s anniversary.”

            “I appreciate how you are not afraid to let your affection for mom show.” Sevek admitted, shrugging, “I could always tell just how much you loved her, and how much she loved you.”

            Spock couldn’t hide the shy smile that stained his lips, and he patted his son on the shoulder.

            “She loved you very much as well…as do I.”

            “Father…you know, you never told me anything about how you decided loving mother was the logical choice. I know that she was your T’hy’la, but…it is known that if you have no emotion towards your T’hy’la, you may never find out who your T’hy’la is.” Sevek awkwardly questioned, tilting his head. In all his years, he knew his father loved his mother so much that he would sacrifice his life, but he never knew how his father had fallen for the rowdy Starfleet captain.

            “That is a very well thought question, son,” Spock began, looking up, “I believe it was just…the essence of your mother.”

            “Explain.” Sevek looked at his father.

            “It is quite hard…to logically explain it, and you did inquire a logical answer. Something that your mother told me was that love was quite illogical…sometimes there is no scientific reason for it. Your mother was the first person who made me sometimes, albeit rarely, question logic.” Spock looked back at his son, “I suppose that is logical as well, however. Your mother was brave, brash, never soft spoken, and quite reckless at times.”

            “From the stories I have heard her discuss about her days on the Enterprise, I would believe it so.”

            “Yes. She was no…predictable person. I suppose that is why I fell in love with her. Yes, she was my fated, but I developed feelings before the realization even began to conceptualize in my head. She was unlike anything I had ever encountered, the one thing that I could not logically piece together.”

            Sevek smiled at his father and let out a small laugh, shaking his head before walking over to his father’s desk and picking up the picture of his mother that Spock was looking at an hour or so ago.

            “So…would you say that loving mother was the logical choice?” Sevek inquired, turning around to face his father.

            “I would love her either way.” Spock simply replied.

            “Father, you’re avoiding the question.” Sevek rolled his eyes, being instantly reminded of how his mother could be sometimes.

            “Yes, something I learned from your mother…and I see you learned your eye rolling from her as well.” Spock managed to smirk, shaking his head.

            “She was quite talented at that. Remember when she rolled her eyes at Grandfather?” Sevek began to laugh, happily discussing his mother with his father.

            “Which time?”

            Spock would never be able to describe the happiness that James T. Kirk had brought him. From her illogical points of view, to her annoying ability to try and prove him wrong, the way her blonde hair would be messy as she ran around the bridge, and the way her blue eyes would hold so much love and affection for those she cared about.

            And he could still remember her laughter, the way it would be so loud and hurt his ears, but also be able to bring him indescribable feelings of joy. Memories…as he had once deemed as an illogical annoyance, where now all he had left of his T’hy’la…and he loved every single one that he had retained, for Jim was always with him and alive in those memories. All the embarrassing ones, all the joyful ones, and all the sorrowful ones. Just as with the first day he had made eye contact with her, she was always in his mind. And that, he deemed, was as logical as could be.       

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this, and I didn't make you too sad! <3 I decided to name Jim and Spock's baby Sevek because I had looked up Vulcan names on this website and it was super interesting. Here's the website if you want to check it out: https://kirshara.wordpress.com/tag/vulcan-names/
> 
> Sevek means "total prosperity" and I thought it was cute. (and I wanted to keep up the "s" theme since Spock's father's name is Sarek, which starts with an "s" as well.)


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